One Dress in 100 Cities

Photo by Desiree Gardner Photography https://desireegardner.com/

When I started The Respectful Traveler, I wanted to be unapologetically myself.

You might be saying..."So what?". And that’s totally fair. Do you know who you are? If so, congrats my friend.  

Here is the thing… I was a GenX kid with severe ADHD and grew up being told to “act right”. Not knowing what that meant I would just watch people and try to mimic how they acted. If you are like me and didn’t know - there is a term for it now, its called “Masking”.

I have and still sometimes do - mask so I can “act right”. Sounds silly. But the term “act right” was very present when I was growing up. My inner-self thought if I acted right then I wouldn’t get in trouble, or people wouldn’t make fun of me.

What I didn’t know is that masking or “acting right” made me extremely self-conscious and my entire self-esteem became based on what others thought about me. I question everything about myself constantly. Did I make a fool out of myself? Did I talk too much? Did I laugh too loud? Does my outfit make me look fat? Do I look like a clown in my makeup?

The judgment is real.

How did I realize I mask? I am the proud parent of the most amazing person in the world who is autistic. We didn’t know until 4 years ago and it has changed our entire world view. Helping my son navigate the world through a neurodiverse lens helped me realize just how different I am than other people and the lengths I went to hide it.

One of my favorite things about my son and his GenZ peeps is that they don’t hide. They don’t have to mask. They see strength in their vulnerability, and they aren’t scared of the ways they are different.

Being his parent has allowed me to learn who I really am behind the mask. The Respectful Traveler would still be sad lonely neuron not yet firing if it hadn’t been for my son. My whole business is not just because of him, it is for him. Travel is my love language. Learning who I am through him has helped me realize how guilty I feel when we travel that I am not doing enough to be a better traveler and take care of the planet.

I have learned more about myself in the last 4 years that I have my entire life - thanks to my son.

I still have a long way to go.

Most people have no idea that I have an anxiety attack every time I dress up. I end up changing clothes 3 or 4 times plus remove most of the make-up I spent time applying. I cannot do this anymore. I have made a vow to be more body positive. (Thank you Millennials and GenZ!)   

This is where the idea for One Dress in 100 Cities comes from. Have dress will travel.

Wherever I go – I will pack this beautiful geo design dress. Once at the destination, I will get dressed up, takes some photos/videos then post it to my page along with a small guide about that city.

This dress makes me feel good but being photographed in it scares me so much. The photos you see above are the first ones in this dress and are by a professional photographer, my friend Desiree Gardner at  https://desireegardner.com/

I will try not to fear what the next photos looks like.

I see that I can be beautiful in this dress.

Inhale the positive. Exhale the negative.

I hope you will check back next week to see City No. 1 of 100 – Luquillo, Puerto Rico

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